The Other Me (if only ......)

This post happened courtesy a friend who takes out time to read out my unconsolable rantings on this blog. It was me who got him addicted to this blogging thing & apparently when surfing the blogsite for some good blogs to read, he came across a blogger writing under a pseuynonym. The only information about the profile was that the blogger was a female & here is where the drama starts. So apparently my friend read through her posts & found a vague similarity between my blogging styles & hers.... so whats the conclusion ??? Our hero thinks that it is me who is writing another blog under a female name............. WHAT ??? ( Relax Abhi, try to reason out the situation). I thought about this for a while, a little later & this is what i have to say

There are two reasons for this to be untrue - (i) contrary to my rants and the impression given by my posting regularity, I'm actually a fairly busy person. So starting another blog and maintaining it will be quite painstaking AND MORE IMPORTANTLY (ii) I WILL MAKE A TERRIBLE WOMAN. Yup! I've said it - even if I tried very hard, I'll be as convincing as a woman as Tom Cruise would be in the role of a discreet lover. Don't believe me - hear me out:

* I can't shop! The total amount of time I spend in a year in shopping is less than the amount of time most women take to try out "does this pink top go with the blue skirt" combination in a SINGLE store.

* I can't differentiate between scarlet, crimson, magenta, red etc. and I'm NOT color blind. So don't even think of asking me "do you notice the difference in my lipstick shade" coz I most definitely DON'T. On the other hand women are gifted with superhuman abilities in this department - I have at least ten blue T shirts that look identical to me and yet I've had girls who've mentioned that "this blue T goes better with your jeans than the lighter shade you wore last week". How, how, how do you do it women?

* I have very different reactions towards dogs and kids. Men, please support me on this - most women that I know (and modesty apart I know a fair amount) have the identical "ooooh! how chueeeeeeeet", "is it a boy or a girl" and "how old is he" reaction to both newborns and the barking variety. I, on the other hand, realize the difference that one of them can (and probably will) bite you, while the other can only nibble and poop on you :)

* I think gazillion was the number of times that my wife told me "the problem with you is that you don't understand" and the truth is that I truly don't. Women, I believe, are gifted with superior qualities of perception, allowing them to understand a lot of things that I don't even know exist. Do you understand me?

* I hate chick flicks. I giggled when Rose and Jack were saying goodbye to each other. All that I could think of then was "will he do a flashback of the time he painted her nude?" I also think that Legally Blonde should be Legally Banned.

i have nothing to say now.but you still said that.I wish people had a backspace button when they spoke ...hhmmmm