Matched # Uno

One of my friends is considering marriage and has surrendered himself to one of the innumerable marriage-based websites floating around the web. We were discussing what to put up for his profile. So we checked out some of the existing profiles on these sites and figured that most of them

(i) sound similar
(ii) sound unreal and
(iii) pretty much says that the guy/girl can do everything.

So we prepared a standard write-up that combined anything and everything that each of these profiles had to say.

Guys: Hi. I am Blah Blah and I do Blah Blah. I believe in the simple joys around us (and what might they be). Honesty and sincerity are two virtues that I strongly believe in (you can never go wrong with these). I'm modern and yet I have strong traditional roots (half a dozen people said this and though it makes no sense whatsoever, it seems to be the in-thing). My hobbies are music, movies, reading (aha! the aesthetic side is revealed) and I also like outdoor activities (lest you offend the more adventurous ones). I like to laugh and make others laugh (the sense of humor card is played). I'm looking for a girl who will be an equal partner in every joy that awaits me (clap clap).

Girls: It is very difficult to describe myself in one paragraph (some five hundred women started their profiles with this line without realizing that they are already wasting some of their limited space by putting this line in). I am a simple girl who loves to love and be loved (aaaah! cho fu@@ing chueeet). I have completed my blah blah (educational qualifications). I like to cook (come on you have to say that), sing (yeah! I can entertain you too) and love art work (I will save you valuable money on decoration). I have strong Indian roots and yet I consider myself Westernized (once again this means nothing). (And now comes the part that I don't understand but almost all the women mention) My father works as a so and so. My mother is a very nice lady who does blah blah. My elder sister is married and based in so and so. My brother-in-law works for a reputed MNC in blah blah. My youngest uncle graduated from ... yada yada yada (can someone please explain it to me why we need to know the entire family tree).

P.S. Coming up next - 10 funniest things that I spotted in these sites!!!!