The Usual Suspects

A friend of mine from the fairer sex recently made this statement "It doesn't matter what you're wearing, as long as you have the right sunglasses to go with it." Another friend of mine spends fortunes on purses. 30% of the women I know have spent more time in shoe shops than in office. All this made me take some time off to think abt these feminine extravagances and I even discussed it with a few other male friends. The result was unanimous - Women, you've got it all wrong. Agreed, Sex and the City was a cool show. Agreed Carey and her friends were trend setters. But allowing these Emmy winning fictional characters to perform magic tricks with your money - it's just insane!!!

Seriously. I think television has totally manipulated the female mind. Why else would they worry so much about shoes? Do you realize that of all the things you wear - that's the one item that has the highest probability of coming in contact with real sh!t (I'm assuming basic hygiene from you when I make that assumption) and still you spend a week's worth of food money on shoes? Shoo away! High heels, pencil heels, slip ons, hooker boots - why o why o why do you need one of each variety. And it's not just one of each variety - it's one of each color in each variety. And it's not just one of each color of each variety - it's one of each brand in each color of each variety. Now come on! I agree that variety is the spice of life but do you really want your food to be that spicy????

Now let's analyze the second culprit - purses. Please don't get "purse-onal" here ladies. Think rationally. The objective of a purse is to HOLD money and NOT blow it. If a small engraved label at the corner of your purse makes you shed a couple of big greens then I'd say some one's taking you for a ride, woman. My wise dad always told me that if you ever wear something that's more valuable than you are, then a thug won't think twice before attacking you for that thing. So keep your purses light, crappy and empty - will ya?

And now sunglasses. You know why they are so bloody dark? Coz the moment you spend a fortune buying one of them you are no longer in a position to make eye contact with anyone. You know you are ashamed and the shades just help you hide the shame. Seriously. One sunglass is fine. Two is cool too. But twelve freaking sunglasses to go with every dress you have???? All I can say is "I've shade enough on this topic" (note to self - Abhi, your standard of puns is fast decreasing)!!!

Seriously. Look at us men. If we have a lot of money (I have no idea how that feeling is though) we buy cars. They take us from point A to point B. They move. They are big. They can hold a lot of purses. They can hold a lot of sunglasses. They can hold a lot of women with a lot of purses and sunglasses. That's what I call an investment. If we have even more money then we spend it on a house and we all know that these houses can hold many such cars!

I agree that occasionally we men have been known to spend a lot of money on alcohol but then if you're drunk enough, you reach a level so high where shoes, purses and all other things appear immaterial to you. That's us men. Ain't we deep?