...... and the training begins

I was discussing the "Indian marriage training preparation" with a friend and shall reproduce (with more spice sprinkled) parts of the conversation :)

The moment the Indian woman touches 23 and the man borders 25 the mothers call up their mothers. "Ladka bada ho gaya hai (the guy has grown up)" or "Ladki ke shaadi ke umar ho gayee hai (the girl is ready for the plunge)" is exchanged, a few congratulatory remarks are made and the "Great Indian Search" begins (trumpets roar in the background). The price of the boy is determined - "He has an MBA so we can demand a working girl", "His height is thoda less. So we will have to overplay the salary angle", "He used to play tennis so we can indeed call him an all rounder" - the parties decide. Similarly the girl's value is also determined in her house. "She can cook both Indian and Chinese. So that'll take care of her growing waistline. Plus we'll mention that she has joined that fitness club", "Don't forget to mention that we sent her to a convent. Guys really like that these days" - the aunts will add in their invaluable advice. A few warnings are also exchanged - "Don't tell the girl's family that Vijay had a girl friend. We'll play it safe and say we don't know and don't discus such things at home," the grandmother warns. After the family managers decide on the pricing and marketing strategy the product preparation begins:

For the girls.

1. Morning 8-9: Jogging and gentle cardio. "She has to look good in pants. You know naa that these days men like skinny women?" the aunt in salwar and sneakers monitoring the regimen declares.

2. Morning 10-12: culinary Workout. "Ok! You are frying it way too much. What will they think? That we dint teach you anything? Finish this fast. I will then teach you my special carrot pie after that. Your grandfather just tasted it once when he came to check me out and fell in love with me," the blushing and gloating grandmother announces.

3. Afternoon 3-5: Music lessons. "We have already told them that you have been singing for three years. Sing that Piya tohse song. It is very suggestive - if you know what I mean," the mother declares, giving up the last element of discretion.

4. Evening 7-8 (just before the ideal daughter-in-law TV serials begin): Knitting. "The guy's grandmom is coming too. Show her this piece. Tell her you made it. Don't worry. I'll teach you before marriage how to do it. Even though the cross stitch might be a little difficult," the grandmother says while maintaining the value of her role.

The guys don't have it easy either. They have their training program too.

1. Morning 9-Evening 5: That thing they call work. "So when do they let you know if you got promoted. Asst. Manager doesn't sound as good as Manager. Can we say Deputy instead of Assistant? It sounds better. I believe they already have another similar offer. I will recommend that you tell them that you are a manager. We will manage it later," the general manager of the house says.

2. Evening 11-12 (Just after the ideal daughter-in-law serials end): Feed the Male Ego. "Don't smile too much. They will think you have never seen a girl before. And when they bring the sweets take just one and don't go overboard praising it. Get it?" The father finally adds in. "Very true," the mother mentions. "And speak with an accent. They have already mentioned some three times that their daughter went to an English medium school. Show them that you are no less.

Shouldnt we just change the saying to read " Another one bites the trust " :-))