Forgive me my love..... oh blog!

I almost feel like I'm cheating the few remaining dedicated readers of this blog by my prolonged absence. As I sat down to write a new post, I imagined what it would be like if this blog was a woman that I was dating.

"You don't spend any time with me anymore," she'd tell me.

"Baba, you know how busy I've been, right?" I'd say without blinking.

"So what? Are you trying to say that you weren't busy a year back? Even then you worked late in the night. But I never felt neglected. You would always find time to visit me at least once a day. And don't even get me started abt the early phase of our relationship. There were days when you would come and meet me twice ... maybe even surprise me with an occasional third visit. I haven't forgotten anything Mr. Abhimanyu Arora (I'll never understand why women say the full name when they are angry)"

Deep down I'd know that the blog is right. So I would use every man's solitary defense technique for these moments.

"Hey, it's quality vs. quantity dear. Look at some of the stuff I gave you then. Posts on all sorts of inane topics ... dogs, crap and stick figures, what not ... but now I offer you nothing but the best that I have to offer."

"I don't care," she would cut me short. At this point one can smell the prelude to a tear drop. Now tear drops are super critical in relationships. A single drop of tear can turn the tides. From what was a well placed debate between two individuals would quickly morph into a one sided melodrama. So I try to stop her from saying anything further.

"You know what you mean to me. You stayed by my side when everyone else left me. I remember those times when I would sit all alone at home waiting to spend some time with you. You were my window to the outside World dear."

"Yess. I know," she would agree instantly. "And now you don't need that window anymore, right? New doors have opened and the window seems too small for you, huh? Don't think that I don't know what is happening!! It's those kiddie blogs of twenty something young girls from Mumbai right? That's what you want to go for now, right? My mature musings are too mundane for you, right? Go. I won't stop you. But remember, some day those blogs will all disappear, and you WILL come back to me. But maybe I won't be waiting for you then. Maybe I'll be with someone else. Maybe abhimanyuarora.blogspot.com will be a commercial blog offering cheap Rollex watches then. As if you care."

In these tender moments men can do one of two things - continue being rational and prolong the argument OR just accept the fault and make promises so tall that they would make an NBA basketball player look like a dwarf. I speak from experience friends - option one is not the "Sahi Jawab." As tempted as you might be to follow the path of logistics - refrain!

"Ok. Ok. I AM SORRY!"

"I don't want to hear your sorry. Go. Go and create a new blog with fancy sidebars and design templates and spend time with it. (At this point she starts crying profusely and you really want to tell her that glug flowing from the nose to the mouth is not a pleasant sight). Go away. I don't want to see you anymore. I will deactivate comments. That way you will never hear from me or anyone else who cares abt me."

"One chance baby, just one chance," I'll plead. "From now I shall visit you at least twice a week. Irrespective of however much work I have. I'll even reply to every comment that you make. Now forgive your Coochie Pooochie. Come on. You know you like me. We make such a great team. So many people like us. Give me one more chance honey bun*."

And then she smiled; a smile that put several other smiles to shame. And she came and hugged me while wiping her flowing glug on my new shirt.

Seriously, I will be more regular with my blogging from now :)

* Honey Bun (n) - Term meaning "my sweet dough". Was put to use by senseless romantics in the late twentieth century. Was responsible for single handedly reducing the IQ of a generation by 5%.